This Blog is about my experience with pregnancy and my journey into motherhood living with Bipolar. I have written honestly about everything. I have also split it into different subject areas. There are posts that offer advice and guidance for all the areas above to help any others first time mums or anyone for that matter. Some of which included stress management, Visual birth plans and weaning to name just a few. I also spam the blog with posts about my life
Today was the day that I got my smear test! After several ignored reminders (purely ignored because I forgot about them) which I received through the post, I saw a campaign on Instagram which remained me of the importance of having one! Especially having Liberty, I need to ensure that I am doing all I can to ensure I remain healthy for the sake of my family.
#SmearforSmear was a national campaign that was run for Jo’s Trust – during cervical cancer awareness week in January. Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust is the only UK charity dedicated to women, their families and friends affected by cervical cancer and cervical abnormalities. As you have probably read in the news that the number of people going for smear tests is lower than ever therefore the campaign was to create awareness to all women and encourage them to get a test done! See link below for details about the campaign and also provides information about why it’s important to have one and what to expect at your appointment:
Having received the list of things that we needed to sort out for nursery, it was overwhelming! On the list it included bottles, formula, nappies, suggested nappy cream (can’t have any that have but oil in them), soothers and spare clothes. It was recommended that there were at least 4 outfits in the changing bag for a day at nursery! I was like ‘ is this a joke?’ maximum I have changed her in any one day was only twice! I was thinking what an earth will she be doing! I was then reassured that it was due to some potential messy meal times, messy play or sick/nappy incidents! if only I could bill them for the additional laundry I would have to do, at least I don’t have to provide 20 outfits a week if she was full time! One of my favourite things about preparing was it was like packing your bag for your first day at school! I had to label everything and iron on her name tags to her clothes! #SoCute
I don’t know how to feel about it to be honest when I dropped liberty off for her first full day at nursery! Apparently I meant to feel some type of way after speaking to some other mums that have children at nursery! I’ve left liberty several times in the past with her grandparents and my best friends to look after her while I’ve had to go to work or appointments so it should be the same right?
Luckily for us our nursery had a baby club every week for an hour which was free to attend it also worked out to be a great trial to see whether liberty enjoyed it also we are very lucky that the person running the baby group would be Liberty’s nursery nurse! I always find comfort in the fact that she is only little and like I wrote on my previous post, she will grow up and not know any different! Regardless of whether I worked or not, I would still put her in nursery to grow those key social interaction skills and also do the messy play there as I have major OCD! I would literally cover the kitchen in plastic like in American Psycho if I could! I know I need to relax in relation to that! I am also happy that it will start to help me set a routine for mealtimes and finally introduces lunch to her this week so start to have 3 meals a day like a big girl! Like I have said in one of my weaning posts, I’m nervous about giving her finger foods so will help me grow some confidence when she tries at nursery.
Liberty is currently one of the youngest in her class at the moment and it is so lovely to see her looking at the older children, hopefully it will inspire her to want to develop her skills quicker and will be walking and talking before we know it 😜
After a long day at work, I was literally counting down the hours until I saw her! Finally it was time! I practically ran through the nursery doors and pressed my face up to the glass to see her! She was there playing on the rug with some silver circles and trying to put them in her mouth! As soon as I went in, she looked up at me and gave me the biggest smile I have ever seen and it melted my heart! She had had a great day according to her record book. This book is perfect for me as I have logged all her feeds, food, nappies, medication given and sleep times since the day she was born! She had managed to eat some vegetable pasta and peach for lunch and some avocado and melon for tea! Napping was one of my worries as she is a nightmare to get to sleep in the day! She did manage 2 40 minutes naps but she did fight it and kicked off beforehand (I did warn them about this)
Other all, she was more than happy there and even was grumpy when I took her away from the fun! I feel reassured now that we made a good choice with our nursery and know she is in the best hands!
It has been the most stressful 48 hours ever and I have the upmost respect for those mums who do it by themselves! (In no way is that supposed to be patronising) I had spent so much time on my own while on maternity leave with Liberty but this time felt different! I can’t take a time out or have any back up when she started to become a handful! I had to rely on Pegga Pig to help me out! I couldn’t just say ‘Dave, can you watch her for a second’ I had to take her everywhere with me, to the point where she watched me in the shower and go to the loo! I even broke my rule as fell asleep on the sofa with Liberty due to tiredness! I slept terribly as I was scared I wouldn’t hear her if she cried.
Once she was in bed as then had to put the house back together and was too tired to watch anything or do anything and felt so antisocial! It was like I wanted to be on my own and miserable! I felt a bit lost. Like I said previously I have never been good in my own company! Don’t get me wrong, I really did enjoy the Mum and Daughter Time together, I just hate change and worried that I might get it wrong! There was another positive which was I got to take Liberty to her swimming lesson and go in with her. This was great as I don’t normally get chance to as Dave normally goes in! Finally Dave came home, I thought that I would just hand Liberty over and go to bed but no I felt like I needed to finish off the day and then let him take over (mainly if she wakes up at 4am). First weekend solo parenting ✅
To all the strong women out there! this quote speaks volumes! I know that deep down I am one and need to continue to tell myself that! I want to ensure Liberty is raised to be a strong woman and be anything she wants to be! 💪🏻👩🏻
6 months in and 6 months out! I can’t believe This little beaut is 6 MONTHS TODAY! I have no idea where the time went! She is so amazing and I love her so much! She fills my heart with happiness and I am so proud to be her mum! It hasn’t been easy but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world! So to celebrate this special milestone I got a tattoo!
We picked the name Liberty as it means freedom – the freedom to think or behave in the way that you want and not be controlled by a government or by other people #troublemaker
I customised the status of Liberty to have a raven on the torch to represent her first and middle name! When her eye colour settles and her hair comes in, I am going to get it coloured in to match.
She has now tasted the whole of Ella’s Kitchen Stage 1 pouch and now on to the next stage in their range! I know I was going to start her on the more textured foods when she starts nursery this month but she seems ready for it now!
Hello March! This month is exciting as on the 6th it’s Liberty’s 6 month birthday! I have no idea where the time went! I have a baby shower which I have planned for one of my besties, Dave is going away for a weekend so I have my first solo weekend with Liberty, Liberty starts Nursery and celebrating birthdays included my beautiful niece Amber and my GBFF in Manchester and also there is a day where I will remember someone dear to me! Hopefully all are going to be positive experiences! #ImReadyforit
Hosting Sunday lunch and while we were all around the table, Liberty wanted to finally get involved with finger foods! She did so well with Daddy’s famous Yorkshire Pudding and Broccoli! As I said in my previous post, she had previously struggled to hold food but think she is finally getting the hang of it! #soproud
Liberty started herWeaning Journey with Ella’s Kitchen ‘first tastes’ before moving on the mixedfruit and vegetable purees. She is doing so well with it and with lots ofencouragement and getting her to copy me when I hold the spoon to my mouth andopen it. The food plan which we followed is set out above
I currently sat at home alone and bored! I go back to work properly next week but Dave’s mum takes Liberty every Tuesday so I can get used to it but today is harder than ever before! I literally feel so alone! I have done the laundry and cleaned the house, meal planned for Libs, ran errands and got food for tea and it’s only 11:30am! I have never been good on myself and ‘relaxing’ (what does that even mean) and it’s especially hard now!
Day One of life appreciation and celebrating Valentine’s Day! Dressed her up with heart themed outfit and then dressed as a love bug at Hartbeeps Sensory! It was topped off with dinner with my 3 loves ! Liberty trying to grab my drink with the look of determination in her eye! #likemotherlikedaughter
I look at my life and need to learn to love it for what it is and what I have got! I know I am very lucky yet still feel a sense of unhappiness! I still continue to rebel and chase temporary highs to satisfy me! I almost feel like because I have made some very poor choices in the past, that I am not allowing myself to be happy! Like I don’t deserve to be!
Enrolled Liberty into Little Gym in order to help strengthen her body and get her used to how it moves! On the first try to get her to roll over and she only went and did it! Plus I managed to capture it on film! I have never been so proud!
Liberty is 5 months today! Loving the little personality she is developing! She will have a first full night in her nursery tonight and have started to wean her! So proud of her! My heart could burst due to how much I love her! #growingtoofast
Starting Liberty on her weaning journey starting with first tastes. Following on from baby rice, we are trying vegetables. While I wait for the arrival of her blender, thank god Ella’s Kitchen have first tastes sorted with mini pouches! First up – carrot! According to my baby weaning book, it can take up to 10 tries for babies to accept food and happy that the first go didn’t go too badly! 🙌
I literally can’t seem to get focused at all with my fitness and getting back to into shape so I decided that drastic action was required! I decided to set myself a goal and that was to do the Great North Run again! Not only will I be helping myself but I will be helping others at the same time! I do love running! It has really helped me in the past with helping to clear my mind!
Finally found the perfect replacement for Liberty’s Christening Dress in Monsoon and even in the sale! It looks very similar to my wedding dress! I was going to make from my wedding dress but they needed the entire train of my dress to make it! I want to keep my dress as hopefully Liberty would want to wear it when she gets married! #planningahead
I know I had previous said that I was needed to get rid of the Mum Tum but I was totally unrealistic by wanting to start this before Christmas! So the new year and the whole ‘new year new you’ promise people make to themselves every year, I am going to start back with my fitness! I did buy some new trainers and workout clothes so I did stick to one part of the plan! Treated myself to some Sweaty Betty clothes, they were in the sale though as I couldn’t justify paying full price regardless of how nice they were!
Obviously I knew it was going to happen that I had this feeling of dread when my maternity leave end date was getting close but never thought I would have felt physically sick with it! Seeing her grow so fast, I am already starting to get the fear of missing out on her first milestones . I had to make a decision on my return to work as I needed to give 28 days notice so New Years Eve was the day where I had to make decisions.
2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣8️⃣ What a year! I have had an amazing year with the greatest achievement ever! My beautiful amazing daughter Liberty! 👨👩👧I have never felt love like it! I can’t remember my life without her! This year I spent nearly 3/4 of it pregnant! Then I joined the Mum world and I have met some great new people, I started this blog which has gone from strength to strength with so much support, I was a bridesmaid for my one of besties and managed to successfully keep hold of my husband for a second year! There was hard times where I felt defeated what with all the drama with my meds and ensuring Liberty was healthy and growing while I was pregnant, I realised the real meaning of the term ‘true friends’ (anyone who has had a baby or a major life change knows what I mean) but I survived 🙌🙌
2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣9️⃣ will be filled with meeting new babies, milestone birthdays and watching friends exchanging vows and continuing to see my baby girl grow up! I am so excited already!
After all of the drama with wanting to breastfeed while I was pregnant and all the meetings About my meds, I tried my best to do it!
I was prepped with my breastfeeding bras from Marks and Spencer, my breast pads from boots (free with Boots Parenting Club) and my Lansinoh HPA Lanolin Nipple Cream but had to stop after 4 days as my nipples with blistered and it was too painful and seeing blood around Liberty’s mouth was awful to see.
So I did my first full day yesterday and it was definitely a shock to the system. I have 212 days off work in total and yesterday was my first taste of what my new routine was going to be like. The new routine consists of:
I had the following appointments:
Midwife Appointments: 15
Blood tests: 8
3 hospital scans: 3
Fetal health scans: 2
4D scans: 2
Family outreach appointments: 5
Multi-agency meeting: 1
Health visitor: 2.
Antenatal classes: 3
Aquanatal classes: 10
Stretch and sweep: 3
Changes to my body:
Was tested for – gestational diabetes, Iron deficiency and Urine Infections
Weight gain – 1 stone 4lbs
Sick on myself 2 times
Wet myself 3 times
Additional meds to take – folic acid, Iron, vitamin D and K
I experienced morning sickness towards the end of the 1st Trimester
I was diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel and SPD
I had a couple of cravings that really stuck out like peach melba yoghurt and fizzy strawberry laces. I even managed to start to like mint chocolate! My cravings were mainly based on conversations with others about food for example, the advert about when was the best time and how you eat cornflakes made me crave them. I had to go to the shop to get some and eat them plain with just ice cold milk.
I suffered from the world’s worst heartburn in my 3rd trimester!Rennie saved my life.