I need to learn to love my life!

I look at my life and need to learn to love it for what it is and what I have got! I know I am very lucky yet still feel a sense of unhappiness! I still continue to rebel and chase temporary highs to satisfy me! I almost feel like because I have made some very poor choices in the past, that I am not allowing myself to be happy! Like I don’t deserve to be! 

I think part of the reason that I’m unhappy is because my life is going to change again which is putting me in a state of feeling very unsettled at the moment and my anxiety is at an all time high! I think that’s my impending return to work after having Liberty is really starting to affect me! After watching her roll over and capturing it on film and starting her weaning Journey, I’m so afraid I will miss those ‘firsts’ and I will punish myself for that! On the flip side, going back to work will help me restore some order in my life and get back into a routine! Although it’s not like I have had a 7 month holiday! I fill my time with numerous baby classes and groups and continue to learn the ropes of being a mother! 

I often moan about wanting to have my old life back but know that will never happen as I have responsibilities now and wouldn’t change that for the world! My daughter is my number 1 priority and will continue to be until the day I die! I need to get into my head that I am still me! I’m Mary, wife, mother and friend! I just need to compromise! I can still go out and have fun just need to know my limits! (Some of my best nights were when I was sober during pregnancy as you get to see your friends slowing becoming hot messes and it’s all the entertainment you need!) I can still have some ‘me’ time and not feel guilty and the only reason I’m not able to be with Liberty everyday is because I need to work! One is because it’s one of the only consistencies in my life and Two is because I need the money to ensure she have everything she needs to have the best life! 

Like I have said before I need to love my life and what I have got! Stop with all the bullshit and self punishment! Once I do that, I believe that I will be happy! 🤞🏻

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Happy 5 months Liberty 🎉

Liberty is 5 months today! Loving the little personality she is developing! She will have a first full night in her nursery tonight and have started to wean her! So proud of her! My heart could burst due to how much I love her! #growingtoofast

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Liberty’s first tastes – Carrot and first tastes plan – Week 1

Starting Liberty on her weaning journey starting with first tastes. Following on from baby rice, we are trying vegetables. While I wait for the arrival of her blender, thank god Ella’s Kitchen have first tastes sorted with mini pouches! First up – carrot! According to my baby weaning book, it can take up to 10 tries for babies to accept food and happy that the first go didn’t go too badly! 🙌

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Fallen off the fitness wagon already – time to bring out the big guns 🏃🏻‍♀️ Three words – GREAT NORTH RUN

I literally can’t seem to get focused at all with my fitness and getting back to into shape so I decided that drastic action was required! I decided to set myself a goal and that was to do the Great North Run again! Not only will I be helping myself but I will be helping others at the same time! I do love running! It has really helped me in the past with helping to clear my mind!

Continue reading “Fallen off the fitness wagon already – time to bring out the big guns 🏃🏻‍♀️ Three words – GREAT NORTH RUN”

#10YearChallenge

After seeing all the posts on social media about the #10yearchallenge, I decided for a laugh I would take part!

2009 v 2019 what a 10 years it has been! Nose seems to have got bigger, eyebrows are longer and my hair is shitter! 🤣

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Time to get serious getting back into shape!

I know I had previous said that I was needed to get rid of the Mum Tum but I was totally unrealistic by wanting to start this before Christmas! So the new year and the whole ‘new year new you’ promise people make to themselves every year, I am going to start back with my fitness! I did buy some new trainers and workout clothes so I did stick to one part of the plan! Treated myself to some Sweaty Betty clothes, they were in the sale though as I couldn’t justify paying full price regardless of how nice they were!

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There can’t only be only 1 month remaining?! 😭 – Changes to my return to work

Obviously I knew it was going to happen that I had this feeling of dread when my maternity leave end date was getting close but never thought I would have felt physically sick with it! Seeing her grow so fast, I am already starting to get the fear of missing out on her first milestones . I had to make a decision on my return to work as I needed to give 28 days notice so New Years Eve was the day where I had to make decisions.

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#Bye2018 #Hello2019

2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣8️⃣ What a year! I have had an amazing year with the greatest achievement ever! My beautiful amazing daughter Liberty! 👨‍👩‍👧I have never felt love like it! I can’t remember my life without her! This year I spent nearly 3/4 of it pregnant! Then I joined the Mum world and I have met some great new people, I started this blog which has gone from strength to strength with so much support, I was a bridesmaid for my one of besties and managed to successfully keep hold of my husband for a second year! There was hard times where I felt defeated what with all the drama with my meds and ensuring Liberty was healthy and growing while I was pregnant, I realised the real meaning of the term ‘true friends’ (anyone who has had a baby or a major life change knows what I mean) but I survived 🙌🙌

2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣9️⃣ will be filled with meeting new babies, milestone birthdays and watching friends exchanging vows and continuing to see my baby girl grow up! I am so excited already!

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My Breastfeeding/Expressing Experience and Recommendations 🤱🏻

After all of the drama with wanting to breastfeed while I was pregnant and all the meetings About my meds, I tried my best to do it!

I was prepped with my breastfeeding bras from Marks and Spencer, my breast pads from boots (free with Boots Parenting Club) and my  Lansinoh HPA Lanolin Nipple Cream but had to stop after 4 days as my nipples with blistered and it was too painful and seeing blood around Liberty’s mouth was awful to see.

Continue reading “My Breastfeeding/Expressing Experience and Recommendations 🤱🏻”