Obviously I knew it was going to happen that I had this feeling of dread when my maternity leave end date was getting close but never thought I would have felt physically sick with it! Seeing her grow so fast, I am already starting to get the fear of missing out on her first milestones . I had to make a decision on my return to work as I needed to give 28 days notice so New Years Eve was the day where I had to make decisions.

We physically can’t afford for me to continue on maternity from the yearly allowance as it would go down to only SMP (which is just enough to cover monthly bills) for 3 months and ZERO for last 3 months! I had 25 annual leave days to take which I was going to use for a extended phased return for 9 weeks working either 2-3 days a week but I have decided to take another month off and use the remaining to do a phased return over 2 weeks instead! I know that I could have really messed it up doing this way.

Reasons being that I could have got used to being away over long period instead of over a couple of weeks and another reason being that if I already feel this way now, it could get worst and get major separation anxiety. Luckily I work for an organisation that I’d really supportive so I know they have a Flexible Working Policy which I can look into where I can change my work patterns without having to reduce my hours.

As of today, I have 55 days until my phased return starts so I can try get into the right mindset and remain happy and healthy for Liberty as the last thing I want is to have an episode! #RemainCalm


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